He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
