Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
