when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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