First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
