This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your penis caused this!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
