Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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