Its about making memories worth repressing
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
