You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
