You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
