do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the condom got lost in my hair
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
