and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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