I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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