Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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