Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
