Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
is it fun? or sober?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
