I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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