She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
