Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
