I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
