Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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