I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I looked at my own cervix.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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