It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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