you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You're like the curious george of whores
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
