I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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