if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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