I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
