Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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