just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
