i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
