my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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