The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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