I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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