There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
