you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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