you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
