but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
