I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
