I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think my tv is drunk
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
