is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
