i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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