How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
