i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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