I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Use "feeling words"
Yay
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
