Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
