i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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