Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
