Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
