Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
