Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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