I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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