Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
