I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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