I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
