Umm I'm too high to move.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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